Archive for the ‘lies’ Category


Saturday, September 4th, 2010
the yey

the yey

the yey is a nervous, highly-strung, noodle-like creature that lives only in forests in the highest mountains. it comes out just before dusk to club small furry creatures with a stick for its dinner

potatoes, potatoes!

Monday, April 19th, 2010

truly they come in all shapes and sizes!



award of awsumness

Thursday, March 18th, 2010


reasons why this man was a DUDE:

b: clearly mastered the ART OF TRANSPORTATION
c: founded Sperry ELECTRIC MINING MACHINE Company
d: founded Chicago FUSE WIRE Company
e: invented GYROCOMPASS
f: invented GYROCOPTER
g: invented ARC WELDER
h: sry some of those maybe not quite true
i: but still! a DUDE
j: yupyup
all aboard! :D

pancake day

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

on tuestag it was pancake day! blodgett made 8 pancakes but consumed only 7. the remaining pancake blodgett carefully dried and preserved for later scientific examination. it now present to you results of rigorous analysis.

note on general methodology: pancake drying reached steady state by fritag, but was kept under observation for a further 2 days in case of surprises

evidence 1:



observation 1: entirety of pancake warped, note well that there are FIVE (5) raised edge sections.
conclusion 1: all pancakes inherently desire to be pentagons.

evidence 2:



observation 2: some parts of pancake wrinkled up. is common knowledge that fingers and toes wrinkle up in the bath.
conclusion 2: all pancakes inherently desire to be in the bath.

evidence 3:



observation 3: edges are highly crispy.
conclusion 3: all pancakes inherently desire to be crisps.

blodgett thus present what is theorised to be the happiest pancake in the world!

happy pancake

happy pancake


Sunday, January 31st, 2010

as previously mentioned ( blodgett will now inform you about science, in particular the little particulars. the following diagram is provided for your instruction; it is suggested you have this open in separate tab for reference whilst studying the accompanying notes.
(if you have no tabs, hie thee to a decent browser:


step 0: acquire a scientist. note the scientist wears its special lab hat for safety.

step 1: bubble some science goop in a beaker. do NOT attempt to inhale conical flask.

step 2: science has created the sugar cube! we will examine it with a magnifying glass (pipe optional).

step 3: we see that the sugar cube is made up of cubular Sucrose atoms (symbol Su, atomic number 222). this gives the sugar cube its distinctive shape, and the snazzy bits holding the Su atoms together are what make it crunchy. note also that there is a lot of empty space in cube, this is why it dissolves well in tea.

step 4: turn the magnifying glass up to 4. here we see an isolated Sucrose atom. it is perpetually grumpy, the cause of which is not having round corners. it is further aggravated by the bouncing sub-particulates in its Insides (not shown here).

step 5: zooming in further, we see the essential components of all atoms, called Quirks (chemical symbol Q+/–, in red and blue), carefully held within the confines of the atom by GLUONS (symbol GLUUU, seen in yellow). they are round and happy, and this is why life is good. their distinctive bouncing behaviour was the direct inspiration for the trampoline. (true story.)

and that is all for today’s science lesson. you now know everything there is to know about small particles. success!

Insects II: the Lesser Spotted Crudweasel

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

blodgett continues its series on insects that you didn’t know about because blodgett only just made them up!

Today, we examine the only species of Crudweasel in existence. It has a single off-centre spot on its back and a funny-shape patch on its tail – no more spots are forthcoming. The Crudweasel is very small, and lives in tiny burrows in the walls of buildings. It used to have teeth but they fell out, so now it comes out only at night from embarrassment, and eats dirt. This combination of factors means the Crudweasel is rarely seen even when one is searching for it.

It is entirely illiterate, and samples potential food items directly rather than reading the labels. The Crudweasel is however a sociable insect, and enjoys regular Crudweasel gatherings. Its hobbies are tennis and knitting, and the more adventurous members of the species have been known to experiment with papercrafts and board games.

Pictured below: a rare sight of the Crudweasel sampling a potential meal of dirt (dark brown angular variety)

Figure 1: Crudweasel

Figure 1: Crudweasel


Thursday, January 7th, 2010

We turn now our attention to matters of History! blodgett invites you to study the personage of BALTHASAR EGGENBERGER, 15th century resident of Australia, founding member of the legendary House of Eggenberg, and cunning and mickle crafty inventor of the egg and spoon race.
In his later years, he was known for his devotion to feeding poor people, and many an impoverished life was saved by the sight of Lord Eggenberg flying down out of the clouds to deliver a nutritious meal of eggs and after-dinner mints.

Look, here he is now!


another good deed


Further Informations for the Interested Reader:

Insects I: the Fliangle

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

The Fliangle is a curious insect with no feet. Coloured a distinctive green, supposedly for camouflage purposes, it is nevertheless rather striking. Its unusual geometric shape appears to have few aerodynamic advantages and almost certainly contributes to the Fliangle’s difficulty in taking off. However, the tough, edged carapace makes it an unappetising snack, except to those predators partial to armadillos.

The Fliangle itself eats pollen. It is a creature of decidedly below average intellect. This may be why it hasn’t figured out that reducing your food supply’s ability to propagate is a Bad Idea. It is also the reason why the Fliangle captured below is about to attempt a landing on a flower that cannot possibly support it. The Filangle’s continued survival is a mystery, but scientists theorise that other insects keep it around for the comedy value.

Wild Fliangle

Wild Fliangle

tasty nuggets

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

there exist such a thing as an antipope! if it comes into contact with pope, it EXPLODE:

some interesting facts

register have invented an awesome word: PLEBWARBLEFEST. blodgett do declare this to be word of the day. (apply retroactively.)


Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

by virtue of date, today has been declared NATIONAL PANIC DAY

blodgett presents authentic drawing of actual events: